Not long ago, I read an article that said Madeleine Albright could leg press 400 lbs. Just to jog your memory, Madeleine Albright is a former US Ambassador to the United Nations and the first woman Secretary of State under Bill Clinton. She was born in 1937 (which makes her 73 freaking years old) and she stands a colossal 4’10” tall.
Now if you have a lick of sense about you, your first reaction to that statement was probably, “You sey what?” followed immediately by, “Hell, I can do that.” And that was my reaction as well. In fact, I said, “I can do more than 400 lbs.” The only problem is 400 lbs is a lot of weight – think the new improved, slimmer Ralphie May (he used to weigh 800 lbs) and imagine lying on your back and hoisting him in the air with your legs like a circus acrobat. That’s a lot of dead weight to be tossing around. But I figured if Madeleine can do it, so can I.
So I went to the gym today, I strapped myself in the leg press machine and put on 200 lbs. No problem. I did 20 reps. I bumped it up to 250. No sweat, 20 more. 300 lbs. It was a little hard to get it going, but once I got it in the air, I managed to knock out 15 reps. By this time, I was getting a bit concerned. I could start to feel the weight. It was getting a bit heavy and I still had 100 lbs to add. Not to worry. If Madeleine can do it, so can I.
I put on another 50 lbs – I don’t mess around with the 10s or 25s, I like to go for the big boys and load it up. It’s more manly. I folded my legs up against my chest and pushed with all my might. It barely budged. I re-racked the weight just for a second and then pushed again for all I was worth. This time I raised the weight and fully extended my legs to lock out position. I then proceeded very slowly to do 12 reps.
At this point, I decided I needed to get up, stretch, take an extended rest and let my body resupply the depleted glycogen to my muscles. So I walked around the gym for 5 minutes shaking off the fatigue in my legs all the while giving myself a little pep talk.
“This is ridiculous! I just barely lifted 350 lbs for reps. Madeleine Albright does 400 lbs. Madeleine freaking Albright! 4’10” Madeleine Albright! 73 year old Madeleine Albright! If Madeleine Albright can do 400 lbs, then I sure as hell can do 400 lbs.” And on and on it went.
By the time I added the extra 50 lbs to the machine and strapped myself in, I was psyched. Taking a few minutes to compose myself and employing all the positive imagery I could to “Unleash the Power Within,” (thank you Tony Robbins) I closed my eyes, focused my energy, concentrated on moving the platform and visualized myself smoothly and effortlessly extending my legs upward and outward lifting all 400 lbs to lockout position just like Arnold on steroids.
Finally, I took a deep breath, held it, and on the count of three, I bore down and pressed upward as hard as I could. I pressed so hard, the rubber on the soles of my shoes fused to the metal plate. I felt the padded post that served as a back rest buckle under my strain (it could have been my spine collapsing, I’m not sure.) I pushed and pressed till I was afraid I was going to grind the veneers off my teeth. And nothing. Nada. The weight barely moved.
I sat there in my defeat and humiliation. “I can’t believe it. How is it possible that Madeleine Albright can lift 400 lbs and I can’t even budge it? Are the laws of physics somehow suspended in Washington DC (I know the economic laws don’t apply there)? I know I am at least as strong as that 73 year old midget (excuse me, little person). There is no way she is going to out lift me, NO FREAKING WAY.
So I psyched myself up to give it one more try. But this time, instead of thinking positive, I went negative. Keeping her face before me, I said over and over to myself, “I’m going to kick Madeleine Albright’s butt. Madeleine Albright is a wuss. She’s nothing. She’s a Clinton appointed stooge without the backbone to stand up to her boss and say, ‘You’re a liar,” when he looked into the camera and said, “I did not have sex with that woman.’ She’s a pansy. And I’ll be ‘daggone’ if I’m goin’ let her make me look like a fool……”
And then I pushed. I pushed harder than I had ever pushed anything in my life – except for the time I tried to push an excuse on Barb that it’s not a lie as long as you tell some version of the truth, but that’s another story. I pushed and pushed and pushed and finally, the foot plate moved. And then it moved some more. Upward and forward it went. I was doing it. I was pressing 400 lbs. After what seemed like eternity, I locked out. I did it! “Take that Madeleine! You got nothin’ on me!”
And so I did another one. And another one. And then, just for good measure, I did one more. Four reps! “There is no way, Madeleine Albright did four reps. She was probably lucky to get one. That means I’m four times better than she is. HA!”
I jumped up – well, it was more like pulling myself to my wobbly legs – and ran around the gym – to be honest, I was hobbling a bit. But in my heart I was jumping and running. I had just done the impossible. I leg pressed 400 lbs. Not once but four times. And I owe it all to Madeleine Albright. “Thank you very much.”
So, if you’re still with me, here’s the take away: Don’t be duped by all that teaching about positive self talk. That’s not what motivates people. There’s a reason political campaigns go negative the last few days of a campaign. Negative attack ads work. We don’t like it. We wish we didn’t have to use it, but they are effective – far more effective than the positive namby-pamby ads they run in the beginning of the campaign.
So if you want results, I’m talking real results, think negative. Get yourself a “human punching bag” and whale on it. And if you can’t find one that’s suitable for you, I’ll be glad to lend you mine. Just picture Madeleine Albright and you too can accomplish more than you think. Good Luck!
Hey, it works for me!
Things I Am Learning 